february and march 090

Do you ever have one of those days when you feel like you’re surrounded by crazy people?
As if, everywhere you turn, nobody is making sense and everybody (except you) is absolutely nuts.

Yeah, me too.

But a funny thing has happened in the midst of my Emergence Process. I’ve discovered that the crazy people are actually…me.

Instead of letting them be in charge, however – which can be pretty irresistible under normal circumstances/it’s called having a tantrum  – I’ve begun inviting them into the warm and cozy embrace of my loving essential self. There, they’ve had a chance to introduce themselves and explain why it’s so important I listen to them: 

  • Wanda Worrywort: If she doesn’t  inform me of all the bad things that can – or are going to happen – they’re GOING TO HAPPEN FOR SURE.  
  • Paula Planner: As long as she can plan out how my life is going to go – and I stick to the plan – everything is going to be okay. (Wanda and Paula work together.)
  • Responsible Rachel: Her idea of responsibility is to make sure that every bill is paid, before I have any fun or do anything “irresponsible” like invest in my business.  
  • Deprived Daisy: The poor cousin of Wanda, hopeless Daisy believes everything bad has already happened and nothing good will ever happen, so I shouldn’t get my hopes up.

Now these ladies aren’t all bad, but the one thing they have in common is  a lack of trust in letting things unfold. Each local self (as Barbara Marx Hubbard calls them) thinks she’s got the answer to keeping me safe, preventing misfortune and fulfilling my desires. As long as I listen to her.

But all their chatter really does is prevent me from being present, grateful and in the flow.

It can be hard to believe that we are not the sum of the frightened voices in our heads. Yet we are all something greater – something that will not banish the crazies, but embrace them, give them their voice and let them know it IS going to be all right. 

Who are the crazy people in your head? And can you listen to them without actually listening to them?

*For a beautiful book relating one woman’s evolving relationship with her own cadre of inner crazy ladies, read Black Milk by Elif Shafak