This morning I wrote on Facebook:
I’m so glad that that raping motherf’r Bill Cosby is getting exposed. There are SO many rich and powerful men who go untouched as they abuse and silence young women. It is the culture behind our culture and I am so happy the facade is being torn off. Things will never be the same for guys who rape whomever they want and then just put on a happy face. I don’t usually tirade but I lost my first job out of college because I rejected my boss’ sexual advances and almost got raped on a job interview when I was in college. So I was one of the LUCKY ones. When people talk about glass ceilings and why women don’t thrive in male-dominated professions, all I have to say is…ahem! There’s a lot more to women’s “lack of success” in the world than often meets the eye.
It was out of character to express that much raw emotion for me, but I’m feeling raw.
In contemporary culture, spiritually guided people are often characterized (or characterize themselvs) as soft-spoken and gentle, all-is-well folks. And frequently, I probably come off that way myself. But just as frequently, I’m called upon to tell a friend or client that there is also a place for well-directed anger, rage or sadness in a well-lived, heart-directed life.
Too often, I’ve felt as if my own inability to tolerate the compromises of contemporary culture is a weakness. While it’s an increasingly common experience to hear about a lawyer who leaves a six-figure career to start a non-profit or a wealthy family who sells their McMansion to live on less – what’s less common is my story.
I left my career in entertainment before I hit it big, before I had some credibility to show for it, before I had leverage. When someone leaves at the top – once they’ve reaped the rewards of acquiescing to social demands – it’s easy to call them courageous.
But when I left entertainment because I couldn’t stomach the stupidity and emptiness of working nights on a reality show…couldn’t stand lying to people to make deals for the films I was working on…because I was sick of being associated with the trash on movie and tv screens….it was easy for me to think that I just didn’t “have what it takes.”
But I am tired of feeling weak because of what I don’t tolerate: because I say no to sacrificing closeness with my children due to stress at work, because I say no to pursuing money in favor of nourishing relationships, because I say no to medicating my child rather than giving her the opportunity to thrive at home and experience an unconventional education.
The simple point is that I say NO to a lot of the bullshit everyone else thinks they have to deal with it. But let me tell you…you don’t have to deal with it. You CAN walk away. And you will survive. You may be on food stamps. You may go to a food bank. Live in a small apartment. Be uncertain about your future. Rely on the kindness of strangers and friends. Not always be sure how the kids will get winter clothes.
But you will have your soul. And you will become strong and unafraid.
Because you don’t have to let motherfuckers like Bill Cosby break your spirit and dim your light. I didn’t.